Hot flashes may be the most stereotypical symptom of menopause. Boom women described what it’s like to deal with hot flashes and another symptom that often comes with them—insomnia. 

“Menopause has been difficult. I am 60 now and the hot flashes have lasted 10 years, although not nearly as bad and as embarrassing as they were the first 4 years.”—Diane

“This has been the worst thing: waking up. For me, I wake up just as the hot flash is happening, all night long. Then I'm freezing for a few moments, then I stabilize, go back to sleep and awaken again, sometimes less than an hour later. All night long!”—Sydney

“The worst for me was waking up at 2 a.m. and having my mind race at 100 mph. I couldn't shut it off! No one had ever mentioned that symptom before. It wasn't until I was talking with several women who were also going through menopause did I find out it was a symptom!

I'm happy to report that I'm now 67 and have made it to the other side and am enjoying this time of my life”—Deni Kiehl

Many Boom women reported thinning hair on their heads and growing hair on their faces. Here’s what they had to say… 

“I tell it like it is: Quite frankly, the thought of no more tampons and maxi-pads made me do the happy dance! My only issue was having to add tweezers to my purse and car because of the menopausal lady whiskers!”—Catherine

“I was really taken by surprise when I noticed a lady whisker on my chin for the first time—it was half an inch long! How many people noticed it before I did?”—Donna

“I started losing a lot of my hair in the front/top of my head when I turned 40 so I decided to use a human hair topper that just snaps right on and gives fullness and volume. I absolutely love it. It is super easy to use. I can put it on in seconds. People don’t know I am wearing anything. Since it is human hair I am able to color it, wash it, flat iron or curl it. It has truly given me my confidence back. I highly recommend it!”—Brandy

Frequently changing hormone levels that come with perimenopause can cause (sometimes intense) mood shifts. Here are a few of these stories...

“Most troubling to me was the emotional toll where you feel like you'll never be ‘you’ again. The mood swings were awful, which helped me understand why my mom didn't want to talk about it. I now better appreciate my tribe of friends when they are having an ‘off’ day. We all just try to support each other as best we can.”—Dexter Alley Girl

“I went through menopause so many years ago but I remember my raging moods. I literally hated everyone! It was terrible!”—Elizabeth

“I wish *everyone* knew about ‘perimenopausal rage.’ I feel like if more people knew this was coming, partners and families would be more understanding, the way we understand that PMS is a temporary mood shift that will get better. If we knew what to expect, we'd know there's nothing wrong with us, we're just going through a natural hormonal shift.”—MPC3

Many women also shared how decreased libido and vaginal dryness took them by surprise and even affected their relationships. 

“I wish someone had let me know how little interest in sex I would now have. My husband and I used to have a great sex life. Now it’s the last thing I want to do and it does seem to have affected our marriage. He tries to be understanding, but I know he misses it. Even though I'm not interested at all, I still miss the intimacy. I've tried various meds but am uncomfortable with taking hormones and actually didn't notice any difference when I did.”—Marcia 

“I used to love sex and really look forward to it. Now I have no anticipatory interest even though I can have an orgasm. It makes me sad for myself and my husband.”—Karen 

“I wish someone would have told me that sex would hurt unless you took pills and creams. At 46, my sex life ended... I miss the intimacy.”—Laura

Another common thread was dismissive or unhelpful health care professionals. 

“Trying to find a doctor who could help me navigate this was horrible. I had two male doctors tell me all I needed was more estrogen when I told them I hated my family. One doc said, after I was weeping about gaining 30 pounds in two months for no apparent reason, to skip dinner and park my car farther away so I would walk more. Yay.”—2sEnuff4Me

“I wish that I was surrounded by my elders who have been there and that options were not limited to health care professionals who have no actual personal experience. I can find women doctors online who speak a lot about perimenopause but I don't see much about the post-menopause experience.”—Eliza 

“I wish menopause was not cultivated in some circles to be a glorious experience or romanticized to claim it is our inner fire being ignited. I wish my PCP and OB/GYN had had the knowledge to give better counsel to me. I feel it’s been a struggle for me because every woman is different and my experiences are not standardized.”—Patty

We want to thank our community for sharing your experiences and concerns. We’re with you—and so is the Boom sisterhood.

Did you miss this post? Click here to read what other Boom women shared about menopause. 

Then, tell us what you wish someone had told you about menopause. 

Or let us know… Was there anything you enjoyed about menopause? Tell us about it in the comments below.