Sex vs. Sensuality & Pleasure

Today, Cindy talks about the difference between sex and sensuality. Watch the video to hear her thoughts. 

Video Transcript:

Hi. Welcome to Saturday with Cindy. Nice to see you here. So a couple of weeks ago, I asked a lot of my viewers what they would like me to talk about. And last week I spoke about personal style. So this week, I am going to talk about sex. I had some inquiries about that, so I have a few points of view about sex.

Well, first off, to me, the word sex is specifically descriptive of intercourse, which is a function to procreate the species. So I'm actually not gonna talk about sex. I'm gonna talk about pleasure and sensuality. Very different. One is functional, and you do it because you want to get results. If you are experiencing sensual pleasure, there's no goal. You're not going for anything other than pleasure.

It might be just the feeling of your partner just laying themselves on top of you and just pressing down, and you just feel that weight. So it calms you down. Lowers your tumescence, you're going to have to look that word up, and calm you down. It's very destressing.

And once you're relaxed, then you can think about what might be pleasurable next. It could be a back rub. It could be a gentle tummy tickle. It could be a schnuzzle in the neck. It could just be kissing for the pure sake and pure pleasure of kissing.

And if you're interested in experiencing more intense pleasure in the areas of your body where the nerve endings are closest to the surface, and one of them is your lips. And one of them is that area where you have some other lips. 

And, again, without a goal, it's just about laying back, receiving, and experiencing pleasurable sensations. You can experiment just like little kids, and maybe you did when you were playing doctor. Again, it's not about a goal. It's about fun, adventure, experimentation, keeping the lights on, talking. 

And you could be sharing feelings of shame and embarrassment because you have those stretch marks on your stomach, or you think you're too... the wrong shape, or the wrong color, or all that stuff that's so intimate and so sweet. And your partner is there because they want you to feel good. And if you need to empty out some negative feelings, then just get them out on the table and share them. When those are out and they move aside, it allows room for pleasure again.

See the theme going on here? Again, be comfortable. Make sure your body's totally relaxed. You're not too hot, too cold, or the place that you're lying or sitting is too hot or too hard or too soft. Really, take time to make yourself comfortable.

And also, there's no time limit. You may just feel pleasure from a particular stroke, a particular pressure for a half a minute and feel completely satiated by that. And then you can say, "Thank you," and end the cycle, or you could have a longer cycle. 

But staying in communication, looking at your partner in the eye, having them look you in the eye and talking about what's going on, and having a sense of humor about what's going on. And if you start to get uncomfortable, afraid, weirded out in any way, stop and talk about that.

So needless to say, you're going to have to set aside some time, even if it's a half a minute of pleasure or it's two hours of pleasure. But you're gonna have to set that time aside because being relaxed and feeling comfortable is conducive to feeling pleasure. And feeling pressured, feeling a time limit, feeling stressed out in any way is not.

Okay. What else? If you are feeling like you would like some lubrication and you are being stimulated in your genital area, then, by all means, get a little help. Now, personally, I use Boomsilk.

And as you know, I've talked about making a personal lubricant without the honey because if you're prone to yeast infections, sugar is not a great idea. But if you're not, experiment as you wish. I find that Boomsilk is really great for that, and I wanted to just add that to the menu here.

And let's see, if you have any specific questions about this topic, please let me know. And if you don't wanna write it publicly, down below, then you can write me a personal message on the BOOM! By Cindy Joseph Facebook Page. 

And now I'm gonna tell you a really funny, I don't know if it's a joke, but I thought it was hilarious. It was a bunch of people over 50 talking about sex. Should I, shouldn't I. I don't anymore. Oh, I'm thinking about starting again. Oh, I'm continuing and loving it. And a very wise woman said, "Well, didn't you know that sex is designed perfectly for the elderly? So as you get older, you can continue enjoying a sensual, sexual life? Because guess what? It's best really slow, and you do it laying down." I got a kick out of that. 

So I hope you enjoyed Saturday with Cindy today. It's kind of a chargy subject, and I definitely don't want to offend anybody or make anyone uncomfortable out there. So let me know your thoughts. Thank you. I'll see you next Saturday.