A 5-Step Guide to Embracing Change

Every decade of our lives brings new changes.

Children leave home or have children of their own, careers develop or shift, retirement arrives and relationships often evolve in new and sometimes unexpected ways.

Change is the one thing in our lives that’s inevitable. No matter how we prepare for them, some changes will always be more challenging to manage than others.

When we accept or even embrace those changes with joy and optimism, we can tackle challenges and approach each new year of our lives with excitement for what’s ahead.

Whatever changes you have coming in your life, we have a few tips to help you navigate change joyfully.

1. Feel your feelings.

Have you ever noticed what happens when you deny or avoid your feelings? Those feelings don’t usually just go away. In fact, resisting your feelings can cause them to become more entrenched.

When events transpire beyond our control, denial can become our coping mechanism. We may avoid thinking or talking about what’s happening. We may refuse to acknowledge how the change affects us, even to ourselves.

This kind of denial can be useful in the short term as it can give us time and space to begin processing our feelings internally.

Long term, however, it can lead to tension and anxiety.

On the other hand, accepting your feelings can help soften and transform them until you find joy again.

So why not embrace all your feelings fully and without judgment? To help with this, you might try meditating or journaling about the change. Ask yourself: What do I really think about these changes and why?

2. Stay positive.

Think about the various changes you’ve faced in your life. Were they all positive? All negative? Or have you experienced a range of outcomes from the changes in your life?

Many of us tend to view changes we didn’t choose in a negative light.

One of the many benefits of aging is that we have been here before. We’ve already faced big life changes. We have the perspective to know that how things look and feel today is not how they’ll look and feel tomorrow, much less two or three years down the road.

When the hardest changes come, we can use that perspective to look beyond the change to the possibilities.

2. Stay positive.

Think about the various changes you’ve faced in your life. Were they all positive? All negative? Or have you experienced a range of outcomes from the changes in your life?

Many of us tend to view changes we didn’t choose in a negative light.

When the hardest changes come, we can use that perspective to look beyond the change to the possibilities.

That might include new friends or romantic relationships or new experiences and adventures. Just acknowledging that these possibilities exist can make it easier to stay positive and optimistic through the most challenging changes.

3. Be kind to yourself.

Do you ever feel impatient with yourself for not “getting over” your feelings as quickly as you think you should?

The path to embracing unexpected or unwanted change is unpredictable at best. Some days you may feel confident and hopeful. Other days may bring sadness, disappointment or anger.

These are all valid feelings. Each new day is still a step forward towards acceptance and joy.

As much as possible, stay on top of your self-care, which may be more important than ever. Be patient and forgiving with yourself in all ways.

4. Lean into changes.

Have you ever refused to accept a change that was beyond your control? If so, how did that make you feel? Did you feel better for resisting the change? Or did you feel worse?

Unexpected changes often inspire resistance, which can feel like tension, anger or stress. But resisting events that are truly beyond your control drains precious energy.

So why not lean into the change instead? When we find ways to relax into what is, instead of focusing on what we wish was happening, resistance fades away and is replaced by peace.

While it won’t reverse the outcome, it can help us feel better about the changes we face.

Next time you find yourself resisting change, try closing your eyes and breathing deeply. Say to yourself, “This is what is. I accept what is,” until you feel the resistance fade.

5. Take control.

One way to avoid dwelling on what we can’t change is to take control where we can.

Making conscious choices in your life that benefit you can help you feel confident and in control again. This may be a great time to pick up a new hobby or discover a new or forgotten cause that moves you.

While it won’t reverse the outcome, it can help us feel better about the changes we face.

Next time you find yourself resisting change, try closing your eyes and breathing deeply. Say to yourself, “This is what is. I accept what is,” until you feel the resistance fade.

5. Take control.

One way to avoid dwelling on what we can’t change is to take control where we can.

Or you may put effort into finding a community that supports you and who you are now, post-change.

By making positive choices, you’ll remind yourself that many things are within your control and your life is still yours to direct. Even better, you’ll open up new avenues to explore for fun and pleasure.

How do you feel about change after 50? Do you manage unexpected or unwanted changes in life differently than you did when you were younger?