I think many of us can relate to the struggle of dealing with a friend or family member who, as you put it, doesn’t “fight fair.”

When people are pressed emotionally, sometimes they retreat to a childlike posture. It can be very difficult to handle those encounters with integrity. 

You don’t want to resort to their immature tactics—name-calling, etc.—but you also want to hold your own boundaries and treat yourself with respect. 

My advice is to generate, in advance, a line of dialogue or two that lovingly but firmly reflects your position on the issue or conflict at hand. 

Then, when you’re engaging in conversation with this person, keep an open mind. 

Listen to what they have to say and respond accordingly, but when you feel that switch flip and they start name-calling or saying hurtful things, go to your prepared lines. 

Think of these as a conversational home base. 

It’s a safe place for you and, in truth, a gift for this other person, too because you don’t get spun out into mutually destructive dialogue, which doesn’t serve anyone. 

We never know how powerful a simple act of kindness can be. As cgtravel points out, so much of our attention goes to things that are wrong. 

It’s called the negativity bias, and it’s something I should write a more detailed post about in the future. (Thanks for the inspiration!) 

By choosing to engage in small acts of kindness and choosing to draw attention to things like good service, you help lift the energy of everyone around you, including yourself.

“I’m turning 60 and having a hard time with that number…”

In response to “Finding Perfection in Imperfections,” Mary wrote, in part: “I’m turning 60 in three months and having a hard time with that number. The Boom blog helps my insides like your products help my outside!”

First I just want to say, thank you so much for this great comment. 

Every time your mind starts to bug you with that negative self-talk about the big 6-0, try lovingly pausing and saying out loud a kind thought about yourself or your life. 

The best antidote for negativity is love. 

Want to see more mailbag posts like this one, where I respond to your questions? Let me know in the comments! Or have more questions or comments for me? Feel free to drop them below.

Elizabeth is a journalist who has been writing about health, beauty and wellness for over 20 years. She lives in Northern New Mexico with her two dogs and several hundred trees, shrubs, bushes and succulents.